Get 'Em Active. But Ask, Don't Demand.

As a parent, you want the best for you kids, both mentally and physically. Sometimes it's easy to over impose your own desires and wants on your kids without really finding out what they want. As a parent, I've learned that sometimes you have to step back and forget about your "likes" and let your child share what they love about life. Just because you were a football star in high school (that definitely wasn't me, ha!) doesn't mean your child will want that too. This post is as much a reminder to myself as it is to anyone reading it. My own children have activity and weight issues and I'm exploring the best ways to turn that around without pushing them away. If you have teenagers (or even just know a teenager), you know what I mean.

Today's fast-paced, media-driven, and get-it-now lifestyle has definitely made life a lot easier, but at the same time, it's made for a generation of overweight and obese children. In fact this is the first generation to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents. That's really sad news. The great news is that it can be turned around.

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When I was but a wee lad, outside was my entertainment. Now, some of the things we did outside, I'd die if I knew my kids were doing (i.e., pretending to be the 6-Million Dollar Man and jumping off the roof of the garage to practice our forward roll upon landing; climbing over the lumber yard fence and using planks to cross from one 15-foot stack of 2x4s to another, etc...). Funny thing though is that even with me playing out doors, I still went through a "fat kid" stage around 5-8th grade. I wasn't into team athletics so I didn't have a regimented workout like my brother who played baseball, football, tennis, to help keep the weight off. I really do believe, however, that the fact that I played outdoors kept me from becoming bigger than I was. I looked back at pictures of myself when I was "fat" and compared them to today's overweight kids, and I look pretty darn normal.

I don't think organized sports are for every kid, but because so many who are not involved in organized sports are stuck inside watching, TV, playing computer games, and/or surfing the net, they're not able to burn off enough calories each day to keep their weight at a healthy level. The sedentary lifestyle coupled with fast food and highly refined and processed foods are the main culprits in this huge increase in childhood obesity. Youngsters are even being diagnosed with high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes. Maybe if the ultra realistic video games of today reverted back to the "Pong" of my era, kids would return to the outdoors.

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I was really disheartened the other day when I heard Steve Jobs say that the keyboard computer would soon be a thing of the past and that computers would all go to a touch screen. That gives me a heavy heart for two reasons. First, as a writer, it's just one more foot in the grave for the written word. For many (myself included) using pen and paper or the keyboard is a part of the creative process. Sometimes my fingers just have a mind of their own and go to town. Then I have to go back and clean up what they produced. But somewhere in the garble ends up some cool stuff. I'm just not convinced that same thing will happen with touch screens. Although, I guess back-in-the-day, users of manual typewriters probably said the same thing about the electric typewriters and then the laptop.

Second, it just seems one more step closer to the reality portrayed in the Disney movie Wall-e. In the movie, the last remaining humans are on a ship in outer space looking for a home. Everything has become so automated that the humans have become huge blobs that can barely move. They lay in floating hover-bed lounge-chairs which they never leave. They drink smoothies because they're too weak to prepare their own food.

Okay, enough dooms day. I'm not a prude. I really do like invention and advancement. I use a laptop everyday. I have a Garmin to track my distance and mileage. We do have a big flat screen digital TV, but we have no cable or dish. I think technology and advancement is wonderful, but not at the risk of our kids' health. Just the fact that our kids have a shorter life expectancy than ours should be enough of an eye opener that as a society we strive to put exercise, play, and the outdoors back into our children's lives. Research does show that active children have better test scores!

Okay, I'll stop ranting and get back to the point of this post, "Ask, Don't Demand." Taking away the computer, shutting off the TV, and discontinuing cable, may work for some in getting their kids outdoors and into being more active, but I think a different approach may work just as well if not better.

Schedule some outside trips with your kids, but kept the activities open so that your kids have some choice in what they do. Or maybe over the course of a few weeks have them experience several different things to see what sparks an interest—hiking, biking, running, Frisbee football, frisbee golf, wiffle ball, swimming, badminton. When I was in middle school my older brother and I set up an "official" badminton court in our backyard. We had a whole series of tournaments between us and played that entire summer. It was big fun.

Another approach to take is to try inviting your kids to join you in your favorite activity. Tell them you'll take it easy on them. That's usually enough of a challenge to get them out there. If they say no, dig a little to find out what they're interested in. It may be that they're really interested in mountain biking, but have never said anything because you're into running. Or maybe it's dance or gymnastics. Now there are limits. I'm not donning a tutu, but I will sign my daughter up for dance class and root her on whole-heartedly from the sidelines if that's her area of interest. The point is, find out what your child is interested in. Sometimes all they're waiting for is an invite. Other times is maybe that they're waiting for you to ask what they're interested in.

A few months back I told my 14-year old that I was starting a beginning running group at my fitness studio. I told her that if she and her best friend wanted to join the group, that would be awesome. That's all I said. A week later, she came to me to ask more questions about the group and who'd be in it. Eventually she and her buddy both joined the group and completed the 10-week program. This past week (while on vacation at the beach), she even got me up early 5 of the 8 days we were there to run. Next week we're running a 5K together to celebrate July 4th and her accomplishment. This was such a success (I think) because of the invite.

I'm holding a 4-week bootcamp at the studio in July and my daughter came to me the other day and said, "So, Dad. You gonna make me do this bootcamp too?" Then she gave me a big grin and we both began to laugh.

So, if you're not already, get active with your kids. I'll be working on it in my household. Invite your family to join you in your favorite activity and explore their interests too. There's a lot of healthy fun and memory-making to be had outdoors.

Runnerdude's Runner of the Week: Stan

This week's featured runner hails from my hometown of Greensboro, NC. I've known Stan for about 12 years and we have kids about the same age. Several years ago I ran with Stan a time or two, but at the time, running didn't seem to be his thing. Fast forward to 2009...I bumped into Stan while working the NC Marathon expo last May. Wow! What a transformation! Stan was never overweight, but he had definitely lost weight since that last time I had seen him and he looked like a runner! He and his daughter had signed up to run the GO FAR (Go Out For A Run)5K that was being held in conjuction with the marathon. GO FAR is a nonprofit organization that gets kids trained for their first 5K. Running is definitely Stan's thing now. Check out his story.

Featured Runner: Stan Park

RD: So Stan, I know you’ve lived in Greensboro, NC for quite a while, but where did you grow up?

Stan: Grew up in Lincolnton, NC and have resided in Greensboro since graduating college in Chapel Hill for last 21 years.

RD: Share a little about yourself. What do you do for a living? Hobbies?
Stan: I will have been married to the same woman for 20 years in May. We met in college (UNC) and are blessed to have 2 daughters—a freshman in high school and a 6th grader. I am a partner in insurance firm—Craft Insurance Center. I run our Employee Benefits department—we help employers manage their health care cost. It has been an interesting time with health reform. I am involved at our church—Westover. Member of Nat Greene Kiwanis (of Neal Leeper fame) past board chair of the Enrichment Fund for Guilford County schools, board member of Reading Connections (adult literacy) and also Spears YMCA and board member of the Better Business Bureau. Like to read, garden and workout.

RD: Man, Stan, you’re a busy guy! How long have you been running?
Stan: Off and on for a while—ran track in high school—but that isn't saying much. Ran some 10K's about 18 years ago. Really serious in the last 20 months.

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RD: What got you back into running more seriously?

Stan: Need for physical fitness. This last venture into running is a result of realizing my children needed more physical activity—after about 9 months of realizing telling them to exercise was not real effective, I made the conscious decision to change my behavior (without any fanfare) and model healthy lifestyle. 40 lbs and 20 months later—not only am I in great shape, but my oldest is on the high school cross country team and forbids soft drinks in her teenage body, my wife has completely changed our diet and is a regular at Y (and has done some mild trail running) and my youngest is committed to swimming and running along with a great diet for an 11 year old. So I think my main "thing that got me into running" was my family.

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RD: Being a model for your kids and family is awesome man. Besides seeing how your running as benefited your family, what do you enjoy most about running?
Stan: It is peaceful—I enjoy the sense of accomplishment, the redemptive feeling of fatigue, the mental challenge that surpasses most any other experience we can have.
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RD: You mentioned your 40-lb weight loss. That’s awesome. I used to be “the fat kid” till I lost 40-lbs in high school. So, I can relate to how good that weight loss feels. Eating right is a big part of training. What are your favorite training foods?

Stan: I like a bowl of Kashi cereal before I run. Best post-run snack is my own creation. Grabe some oatmeal (liberal amount), add Skippy natural peanut butter, some raisins and chocolate soy milk, and then mix it all up—partake in the great flavors!

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RD: Are you a lone runner or do you run with some buddies? What do you like about each?

Stan: Mostly I have been a lone runner. It suits my time schedule best and I like focusing on my running and not letting my competitive instinct overtake all runs. I recently started running with a local running group called the BlueLiners (named after the blue line on the pavement where we start our long runs; also happens to be the color of the line that marks the Olympic Marathon course)—it has been surprisingly great. Good conversation and some dependability in knowing others are wanting to run on these really cold mornings. It also helps with pace—good to talk with those who are into the sport. Most of my friends just don't quite get it.

RD: I’ve been attacked by Canadian Geese in flight, had to jump over a copperhead snake, been stung in the mouth by a bee and crossed paths with a rabid coyote on my various running adventures. What's the funniest or oddest thing that's happened to you while on a run?

Stan: Usually jumping deer during dark evening runs always puts a jolt into me. It wasn't funny but before the Fun Fourth run, I ate my bowl of Kashi (as usual) and I thought the milk smelled bad, but I was more focused on the race (it was my first since my return to running). I started feeling a little odd at the very end of the race—turns out the milk was really spoiled. The next 24 hours were awful, but I finished the race.

RD: What's your biggest running accomplishment? Why?

Stan: Mainly sticking with it. I completed a short triathlon in August and placed 2nd or 3rd in my age category—it was a good feeling. Mainly though the change in my overall health and my family’s positive response to it has been the most rewarding accomplishment related to my return to running.

RD: Do you have a favorite brand of running shoe? Which model? Why?

Stan: I am still working this out. The folks at our local running store (Off’n Running Sports) have been very helpful. I’m currently breaking in a pair of Asics—previously wore Saucony—think I like the Asics better.

RD: What's your favorite race distance(s)? Do you have a favorite race you run each year?

Stan: Not sure yet—but I really enjoy trail running. Did the Triple Lakes Half Trail Run in October. I think I enjoy it because it reminds me of my childhood running through the woods. I like the mental aspect of being aware of every step and being in the woods is awesome. Yeah I think trail running is probably my favorite.

RD: If you were speaking to a group of non-runners or runner wannabes and trying to encourage them to run, what would you say?

Stan: First, you can do it and you won't regret it. Start slow—maybe even on a bike or elliptical (I like the elliptical a lot.) Getting your weight in check before subjecting your body to the rigors of running might be helpful. I have said to many who have asked me about my avid running, “You have to look at a commitment in totality. Then you have to basically look at each day and determine when am I going to work this in.” Our lives are too hectic to be stuck on a regimented plan. If you focus on a regimented time to work out and that time passes, then you miss the workout. It’s better to be focused on the dedication to working out and find the time each day, no matter if it’s the same time every day or not. You have to be flexible with your workout schedules, but inflexible with the desire and commitment.

RD: Open Mike: Share anything you‘d like about your running experiences, past accomplishments, goals, dreams….anything you haven’t previously shared.

Stan: Not sucking up—but I read RunnerDude’s Blog practically every day. It has been a nice connection to the running community and is one of the top valuable tools on the Internet. I think it is a great space for new and experienced runners—I appreciate your dedication. Goals—finish my first marathon in March—Tobacco Road Marathon in Cary, NC.

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Thanks for the interview Stan! It's awesome knowing that RunnerDude's Blog has been so helpful! I hope it has for other runners as well! See ya at the BlueLine!