Get 'Em Active. But Ask, Don't Demand.

As a parent, you want the best for you kids, both mentally and physically. Sometimes it's easy to over impose your own desires and wants on your kids without really finding out what they want. As a parent, I've learned that sometimes you have to step back and forget about your "likes" and let your child share what they love about life. Just because you were a football star in high school (that definitely wasn't me, ha!) doesn't mean your child will want that too. This post is as much a reminder to myself as it is to anyone reading it. My own children have activity and weight issues and I'm exploring the best ways to turn that around without pushing them away. If you have teenagers (or even just know a teenager), you know what I mean.

Today's fast-paced, media-driven, and get-it-now lifestyle has definitely made life a lot easier, but at the same time, it's made for a generation of overweight and obese children. In fact this is the first generation to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents. That's really sad news. The great news is that it can be turned around.

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When I was but a wee lad, outside was my entertainment. Now, some of the things we did outside, I'd die if I knew my kids were doing (i.e., pretending to be the 6-Million Dollar Man and jumping off the roof of the garage to practice our forward roll upon landing; climbing over the lumber yard fence and using planks to cross from one 15-foot stack of 2x4s to another, etc...). Funny thing though is that even with me playing out doors, I still went through a "fat kid" stage around 5-8th grade. I wasn't into team athletics so I didn't have a regimented workout like my brother who played baseball, football, tennis, to help keep the weight off. I really do believe, however, that the fact that I played outdoors kept me from becoming bigger than I was. I looked back at pictures of myself when I was "fat" and compared them to today's overweight kids, and I look pretty darn normal.

I don't think organized sports are for every kid, but because so many who are not involved in organized sports are stuck inside watching, TV, playing computer games, and/or surfing the net, they're not able to burn off enough calories each day to keep their weight at a healthy level. The sedentary lifestyle coupled with fast food and highly refined and processed foods are the main culprits in this huge increase in childhood obesity. Youngsters are even being diagnosed with high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes. Maybe if the ultra realistic video games of today reverted back to the "Pong" of my era, kids would return to the outdoors.

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I was really disheartened the other day when I heard Steve Jobs say that the keyboard computer would soon be a thing of the past and that computers would all go to a touch screen. That gives me a heavy heart for two reasons. First, as a writer, it's just one more foot in the grave for the written word. For many (myself included) using pen and paper or the keyboard is a part of the creative process. Sometimes my fingers just have a mind of their own and go to town. Then I have to go back and clean up what they produced. But somewhere in the garble ends up some cool stuff. I'm just not convinced that same thing will happen with touch screens. Although, I guess back-in-the-day, users of manual typewriters probably said the same thing about the electric typewriters and then the laptop.

Second, it just seems one more step closer to the reality portrayed in the Disney movie Wall-e. In the movie, the last remaining humans are on a ship in outer space looking for a home. Everything has become so automated that the humans have become huge blobs that can barely move. They lay in floating hover-bed lounge-chairs which they never leave. They drink smoothies because they're too weak to prepare their own food.

Okay, enough dooms day. I'm not a prude. I really do like invention and advancement. I use a laptop everyday. I have a Garmin to track my distance and mileage. We do have a big flat screen digital TV, but we have no cable or dish. I think technology and advancement is wonderful, but not at the risk of our kids' health. Just the fact that our kids have a shorter life expectancy than ours should be enough of an eye opener that as a society we strive to put exercise, play, and the outdoors back into our children's lives. Research does show that active children have better test scores!

Okay, I'll stop ranting and get back to the point of this post, "Ask, Don't Demand." Taking away the computer, shutting off the TV, and discontinuing cable, may work for some in getting their kids outdoors and into being more active, but I think a different approach may work just as well if not better.

Schedule some outside trips with your kids, but kept the activities open so that your kids have some choice in what they do. Or maybe over the course of a few weeks have them experience several different things to see what sparks an interest—hiking, biking, running, Frisbee football, frisbee golf, wiffle ball, swimming, badminton. When I was in middle school my older brother and I set up an "official" badminton court in our backyard. We had a whole series of tournaments between us and played that entire summer. It was big fun.

Another approach to take is to try inviting your kids to join you in your favorite activity. Tell them you'll take it easy on them. That's usually enough of a challenge to get them out there. If they say no, dig a little to find out what they're interested in. It may be that they're really interested in mountain biking, but have never said anything because you're into running. Or maybe it's dance or gymnastics. Now there are limits. I'm not donning a tutu, but I will sign my daughter up for dance class and root her on whole-heartedly from the sidelines if that's her area of interest. The point is, find out what your child is interested in. Sometimes all they're waiting for is an invite. Other times is maybe that they're waiting for you to ask what they're interested in.

A few months back I told my 14-year old that I was starting a beginning running group at my fitness studio. I told her that if she and her best friend wanted to join the group, that would be awesome. That's all I said. A week later, she came to me to ask more questions about the group and who'd be in it. Eventually she and her buddy both joined the group and completed the 10-week program. This past week (while on vacation at the beach), she even got me up early 5 of the 8 days we were there to run. Next week we're running a 5K together to celebrate July 4th and her accomplishment. This was such a success (I think) because of the invite.

I'm holding a 4-week bootcamp at the studio in July and my daughter came to me the other day and said, "So, Dad. You gonna make me do this bootcamp too?" Then she gave me a big grin and we both began to laugh.

So, if you're not already, get active with your kids. I'll be working on it in my household. Invite your family to join you in your favorite activity and explore their interests too. There's a lot of healthy fun and memory-making to be had outdoors.